Thoughts
Reality
There are so many theories about reality; or rather, our perception there of. One fantastic theory I have been reading is "Heterotopias" by Michel Foucault. If you want to really have a good think about perception, especially of spaces, it is a good thing to read.
Another really good thing I read recently was about the language we use. When we, as a society, talk about an argument, we talk in terms of war. The metaphor of ARGUMENT IS WAR fits how we view arguments. They must have a winner and loser. You attack or defend, you target and strategise. In other cultures, including the Zulu, argument is viewed as a dance, with the participants performing to create harmony and balance. I find this to be fascinating, purely because it demonstrates the differences in culture as well as the way we, as a society, have been raised to think and express ourselves in a certain manner. It may not seem possible, or to even make sense that an argument can be viewed in terms of dance, but that is most likely because you are not removing yourself from the ideas that you have been conditioned to believe. This is based upon Lakoff & Johnson (1980) Metaphors We Live By : University of Chicago Press.
Another really good thing I read recently was about the language we use. When we, as a society, talk about an argument, we talk in terms of war. The metaphor of ARGUMENT IS WAR fits how we view arguments. They must have a winner and loser. You attack or defend, you target and strategise. In other cultures, including the Zulu, argument is viewed as a dance, with the participants performing to create harmony and balance. I find this to be fascinating, purely because it demonstrates the differences in culture as well as the way we, as a society, have been raised to think and express ourselves in a certain manner. It may not seem possible, or to even make sense that an argument can be viewed in terms of dance, but that is most likely because you are not removing yourself from the ideas that you have been conditioned to believe. This is based upon Lakoff & Johnson (1980) Metaphors We Live By : University of Chicago Press.
Fresh Starts
Time can be hard, especially when you are wishing it would turn back or just stop. My favourite saying lately is "fate's a bitch in heat". When I first heard that, I didn't fully understand why it was "in heat", rather than just "fate's a bitch". Now I can completely understand that sometimes life screws you over and leaves you empty and used feeling. I've spent a while just thinking lately about the theory that everything happens for a reason. Today I am trying for a fresh start, trying to sort my life out and hopefully atone for what I've done lately. The first thing I need to do really, is just stop flirting and messing around. I want the typical long, loving relationship. If I want that I need to sort myself out and just get my life together. So that is what I am doing.
Responsibility
Every person is directly responsible for their own actions, so by that reasoning, it should stand that every person can be held accountable for their actions. If the majority of people, through a sense of family, friendship or duty, feel indirectly responsible for the actions of others, would it stand to reason that the people who don't act responsibly should be free of responsibility because others are assuming the role of the responsible person?
I once heard this and it has stuck with me: If you are in a position in which you can save either one sibling or five strangers, who do you save? The majority of the people I have asked since hearing this, have said they would always save one sibling, and very few would be willing to fight for the greater good of saving five strangers. Which would you choose?
I once heard this and it has stuck with me: If you are in a position in which you can save either one sibling or five strangers, who do you save? The majority of the people I have asked since hearing this, have said they would always save one sibling, and very few would be willing to fight for the greater good of saving five strangers. Which would you choose?
Desire and Consequences
The achilles' heel of humankind. We try, as hard as we can, to resist temptation and seek fulfilment at no cost to others, but sometimes we fail. We give in to temptation when we know it is wrong, when we just don't want to fight anymore. That's part of being human; desiring that which we can't have is just a part of our most basic instincts. Some people don't fight desire, they give in and do what is considered "wrong" or "evil". It's our actions after the fact that set us apart.
Say you buy a pair of shoes you can't afford, or a game, what do you do? Return it? Or do you purge yourself of guilt by not buying something else you wanted?
Say you are in a happy relationship, but you kiss someone else. If it doesn't mean anything to you, do you tell your partner? Do you keep it a secret? If it does mean something, to you or the person you kissed, how do you deal with it? There are many options that we as human beings could take, whether that is walking away, saying goodbye, coming clean, or anything else. We just have to go with our conscience. But what happens when your conscience is unsure? When you don't know how you feel or what you should do?
Every action has consequences. Be they short- or long-term; be they serious or something you can brush off with a shrug. It is our choices and the way we react to different situations that affects whether we are essentially "good" or "evil"; and life isn't even that black and white. It isn't shades of grey. Life is technicolour.
Say you buy a pair of shoes you can't afford, or a game, what do you do? Return it? Or do you purge yourself of guilt by not buying something else you wanted?
Say you are in a happy relationship, but you kiss someone else. If it doesn't mean anything to you, do you tell your partner? Do you keep it a secret? If it does mean something, to you or the person you kissed, how do you deal with it? There are many options that we as human beings could take, whether that is walking away, saying goodbye, coming clean, or anything else. We just have to go with our conscience. But what happens when your conscience is unsure? When you don't know how you feel or what you should do?
Every action has consequences. Be they short- or long-term; be they serious or something you can brush off with a shrug. It is our choices and the way we react to different situations that affects whether we are essentially "good" or "evil"; and life isn't even that black and white. It isn't shades of grey. Life is technicolour.
Mistakes and Forgiveness
So people make mistakes. It's natural. The latest of mine just bit me in the behind. Getting over a mistake is difficult enough. Being forgiven is harder. There isn't a lot you can do other than apologise. The worst betrayal is one of the heart and any time I have felt betrayed, or have betrayed anyone, I really do regret things that happen. Now is just one of those times I guess. The main thing I feel at the moment is upset that I am losing my friendships and can't be open to my best friend that it didn't mean anything to me. There are so many things that I wish I could say or do. That's the problem. How do you tell someone something they don't want to hear? Something that could hurt them and make you lose your best friend? Lose multiple friends?
Bad Feelings
So shoot me, I'm going to quote a Seal song. "It's the loneliness that's the killer". That really does sum up my life at the moment. In the heat of the moment, when you've been feeling lost and lonely, you can do some pretty stupid things. I, for one, can speak from experience. Lately, I've been very lonely, and I've certainly made a lot of mistakes. The biggest one though has quite possibly cost me the only person I know who understands me. It is stupid to expect that another person would forgive you, I mean, we are human after all, but that's what I did. I hoped, ridiculously so, that I could be forgiven for trying to ease the loneliness, having been stood up repeatedly by my boyfriend. When someone who ought to be there for you is suddenly absent, it can leave you vulnerable and feeling empty. That's what I felt, so I looked for a substitute, and found only disappointment and further loneliness and hurt. That's worse. So much worse.
The Fragile State Of Life
In the blink of an eye, a life can end. You could trip and fall in a horrible accident. You could have an illness or disease that causes your body to simply no longer fight. You may be killed, die naturally, have an accident or take your own life. The human body can only take so much strain before it gives in, much like the human mind. If something happened to you, how would you rather go? How would you be remembered? Most people would have the typical speech given that "(Insert name) was a good person, who achieved (Insert details) and lived life to the full."
When a life ends, it can be hard to deal with. When someone you care about dies, it can be hard to find closure and move on. How do you say goodbye when the person you need to say it to is no longer there? No longer able to forgive you because they are no longer in your life.
When a life ends, it can be hard to deal with. When someone you care about dies, it can be hard to find closure and move on. How do you say goodbye when the person you need to say it to is no longer there? No longer able to forgive you because they are no longer in your life.
Fallout
I hate arguing, I really do, so when I had a big arguement the other day, it made me feel really down. There were just so many things that needed to be said and they all came up in arguement, which would have been alright, had I not said them in a really cruel way. I want to take it back, but it's just something I can't do; though I'm hoping I'll be forgiven, at least for my part in it. I've forgiven him for what he said, even if he doesn't think he did anything wrong (though I don't know what he thinks about that). The constant avoiding him to avoid more problems, and trying not to go to him when I have a problem with something, it's hard.
With today's argumentative start there's not anyone else I really want to turn to. Falling out with my mum, and arguing back like I did, it's something I don't usually do, but I couldn't stop myself. She accused me of things that I didn't feel were true, and had a go at me for things that just weren't fair comments. I came into school and I really want to go to my best friend; he's always there for me, and I just can't at the moment. I need to make up with him. Soon.
With today's argumentative start there's not anyone else I really want to turn to. Falling out with my mum, and arguing back like I did, it's something I don't usually do, but I couldn't stop myself. She accused me of things that I didn't feel were true, and had a go at me for things that just weren't fair comments. I came into school and I really want to go to my best friend; he's always there for me, and I just can't at the moment. I need to make up with him. Soon.
Tests
Why is it that some people feel the need to test you? They say something, knowing that if you answer one way they can have a go at you now, the other way they can use it for future arguements. What's fair in that situation? How do you avoid confrontation entirely? With little questions thrown at you by someone you know that well, how is it that they think you won't notice that you're testing them?